Frequently Asked Questions

Joanna and Berck FAQ v0.1


Who is this guy Joanna's marrying?

If you're looking at this page because you know Joanna, chances are good that you've never heard of this Berck guy until recently. So we'll start with a short narrative biography in hopes of getting you guys better acquainted. Berck was born in 1980 in Memphis, TN to Dr. James Frank Nash and Mrs. Cynthia Berckes Nash. His name is, as you might have now guessed, a shortened version of his mother's maiden name. Berck has two younger siblings, a brother Kelsey and a sister Sydney. Sydney is, in many ways, like Berck, but the origins of Kelsey are still unknown. Berck spent the years of 1985-1995 in Mobile, AL, where he attended St. Paul's Episcopal School and made slightly better than average grades. In the summer of 1995, Berck moved to Longview, TX. There, he attended one high school after another until 1998. Berck detested high school, and so his "junior" year was his last. He graduated in the summer of 1998, much to the consternation of his high school. That same summer, Berck enrolled at the University of Dallas, after having searched long and hard for just the right small liberal arts school north of the Mason/Dixon line with no religious affiliation. "But UD is a Catholic school in Dallas?!?" you might say. You'd be correct, and Berck himself made similar protestations. In the end, he was lured to UD on the basis of one lecture given by a certain professor on a certain poem that he doesn't even like. He enjoyed his time at UD; he spent a fair amount of time questing for the truth, and a fair amount of time questing for Joanna, all the while continuing to make slightly better than average grades. Occasionally, his quests intertwined, but in January of 2000 the quest for truth demanded a break in the quest for Joanna, and Berck went to Rome as UD students are want to do. When he returned from Europe, he spent the next semester disillusioned with life and academia in general. After making far worse than average grades, he decided to take some time off. He worked in Dallas until July of 2001, and then left to seek his fortune in Atlanta. Or perhaps it was just to live rent-free with his Dad. After spending a good year doing not much of anything, Berck managed to get a job with Atlantic Southeast Airlines as a flight attendant. The idea struck him as an okay way to spend a year, and it was. Furthermore, Berck knew that being a flight attendant was something to which he's not well suited, and saw it as a challenge. After well over a year, challenge conquered, Berck found himself quite ready to cease being a flight attendant and move on to better things.

This question is, naturally, rather difficult to answer, but we will do our best to provide a useful and honest picture. It is possible, to say of some person, "So-and-so is really a nice guy," but this simply isn't the case with Berck. He is, however, a good guy. He does his best to do what is right in all cases. He stands by his convictions. He is, above all else, honest--a quality which, in extremes, often conflicts with niceness. Berck finds mutual friendship to be a good thing, though he befriends few. Berck disagrees with the typically eastern view of "moderation in all things," favoring extremes in most cases. While he thinks that Aristotle may have been in some way correct about just how virtue is the moderate stance between two extreme vices, he tends to think that virtue often comes from living both ends of the spectrum and allowing them to "cancel out," much like a sixth grade algebra equation. That is, extremes in and of themselves may be vices, but perhaps the virtue comes from letting them fight it out, rather than aiming for the middle ground. In any case, life seems far too wonderful and too horrible to aim for moderation. Berck tends to go through phases. Berck enjoys reading something he finds thought-provoking. Berck dislikes reading anything that might be on some best-seller list. He's often ready to be different simply for the sake of being different. Berck likes disliking things. Berck is good at disliking Microsoft, Disney, Wal-mart, Wall Street, W, stupid people, trendiness, top 40 stations, pointless conversation, pointless questions, bluejeans, tourists, television, telephones. . . you get the idea. He enjoys things which go fast, from cars to airplanes. He's analytical. He loves taking things apart and (sometimes) putting them back together. He's good at fixing things which are broken, and breaking things which aren't. He enjoys long walks on the beach and talking about himself in third person.

We'll just have to let her answer that one...

Joanna Elise Brenner (aka "Jonah") was born in 1974 in Macon, Georgia, spent her childhood in Columbus, Georgia and her teenage years in Colorado Springs, and has since called Mobile, Alabama home, except for two-year stints in Dallas, Texas (going to school) and Athens, Greece (working in a Christian soup kitchen that serves refugees). Her family is as follows: father, Robert; mother, Sarah; sister, Stephanie (who is expecting, due in April); brother-in-law, Nathan Bailey; brother, Benjamin. Joanna's grandmother Dorothea Staples also lives at home with her family after having suffered a paralyzing stroke several years ago. The Brenner homestead is located on 14 acres in the country west of Mobile and is home to several horses, cats, formerly stray dogs, and a spiteful lovebird named Kiwi.

Joanna is an autodidact, having home-schooled from grades six through twelve. Joanna holds a master of arts in political philosophy and is currently working as a temp in a warehouse run by the Christian recording company which employs her dad.

Joanna doesn't have time to be nice, but she tries to make time to be kind. She is loyal to a fault and so makes friends carefully. She loves to absorb and read and to create and write. Life is too short to read good books...stick with the "great." Joanna doesn't really try to be different, she just is. She likes to think of herself as normal and the world as crazy. Joanna has definite opinions about everything, and if you ask her opinion about something she's never heard of, she'll form one on the spot. Joanna is a Macophile (but trying to learn to love Linux) and adores Disney, free market capitalism, and the President, owns stock, is patient with idiots, becomes aware of trends about the time they're going out of style, hates top 40 stations and pointless conversations, "There are no pointless questions, only pointless people who ask pointless questions," must be wearing combat fatigues trousers because her jeans are dirty, is a perpetual tourist, tries to watch West Wing every Wednesday night, and for some reason is forced to talk on the phone for hours every night after 9 p.m. even though she can only hear well out of one ear, and it gets sore...you get the idea. Joanna drives too fast but has been blessed with a sixth sense that picks up radar.

Joanna dislikes meeting new people and, often, dealing with people she's already met (but please, don't take it personally). She has been mistaken for a snob when she's actually just very shy. Don't let the expression of utter confidence fool you; that look has been carefully fashioned as a survival mechanism while living abroad...you won't be harassed if you look like you know where you're going. Joanna also dislikes olives, frozen peas, injustice, inconsideration, unnecessary inefficiency, inacuracy, obstinate irrationality, mosquitos, hot weather, liver, and wearing polyester. She'll put up with just about anything else. She's bad at chronological awareness or remembering any numbers, for that matter, and yet her favorite subject is history. She's good at grasping the big picture and might recall the details that fit into it...but only if they don't involve numbers. She's a horrible speller. She is not a morning person.

Joanna loves animals, kids, mountains, hiking, camping, snow, beaches, fast cars, baseball caps, exploring, spontaneity, adventure, playing the piano, problem solving, good beer, food, learning, debate, jokes, cotton, God, her family, and Berck.

For further information, visit her out-dated, defunct website, courtesy of the WayBack Machine.

How did they meet?

They met at the Neutral Zone, a computer bulletin board system, in April of 1995, as a result of or actions by Scott Dalgety, Nathan Bailey, Computer Shopper, and various and sundry other small pieces which allowed a BBS to exist in Mobile, AL and allowed these young folks to discover each other. Engaging in discussions from neutrinos to evolution to gas grills, Berck pretended he was much older than he was, and Joanna thrilled in finding someone who knew about as much useless knowledge as she did. After a few weeks, Berck and Joanna met in person at a poetry reading which took place at the local Barnes and Noble.


When did they start "dating"?

They never "dated," in the traditional sense of the word. They kept in touch primarily with email from 1995-1998, with a half-dozen in-person visits tossed in here and there. They grew closer and closer as they exchanged a voluminous amount of e-mail. They became much, much closer when they both found themselves at the University of Dallas.

No, really, that's what happened! It would, of course, be hard to say it was entirely a coincidence, but both arrived at UD of their own accord. Joanna discovered UD because it happened to be the alma mater of some of her favourite professors. It is true, however, that her selection of UD as the destination for her politics club trip was somewhat influenced by the fact that she could stop for lunch in Longview. While visiting UD, she was convinced to apply for a spot in UD's graduate program, to which she was eventually accepted. Berck, as has been mentioned, was looking for a school with qualifications decidedly not met by UD. He only later agreed to examine the school at the insistence of one of his high school classmates. He cannot say that he wasn't influenced by Joanna's decision to attend UD as well, but he likes to think he made an independent decision.


So when and why did they decide to get married?

Joanna went to Greece in the summer of 2000, just as Berck was returning from Europe. Among other things, she felt that she needed to disassociate herself from Berck. Fortunately, she finally realized that she'd rather be with him than without him, and after spending two years in Greece, she returned to the States. Berck was in Flight Attendant Training at the time, and when he got his wings, he gave his "travel companion" flight benefits to Joanna. The fact that they lived in two different cities became less of an issue, and they spent a fair amount of time together. They talked about marriage for quite some time and eventually decided on a date.

Frequently and over a long period of time.

Not for a long time. Then when she started saying yes, he switched his question to "when?"

So what are they going to do after the wedding?

They'll honeymoon at Coco Beach House for a couple of weeks. Then they plan to hop in the Miata with their tent and head west until they can't drive any further, then head north till they can't drive any further, and then come back. Or they'll run out of money, whichever comes first. Who knows. They may simply spend a month trying to fix Berck's car.

Then what?

The plan is to move to Norman, Oklahoma, location of the cheapest, fastest flight school in the country. Berck will study to become a pilot (provided he can come up with the loans to pay for it), and Joanna will work (provided she can find a job). Any leads on either point would be greatly appreciated.

And then what?

There are supposedly pilot jobs aplenty in Bethel, Alaska.

So is Joanna going to change her name?

No, Berck is going to change his name...to Nachzen (the name his great-grandfather brought over from Russia before U.S. immigration decided "Nash" was more pronounceable). Joanna will become Joanna Elise Nachzen (pronounced "NAHK-zahn").

You're kidding?

Probably.

So with their anniversary so close to Christmas, Berck is certain to remember it, right?

Berck is a bit of a grinch, his birthday (December 18th) often being overshadowed by the holiday. So chances are good that he'll want to skip straight from celebrating his birth to celebrating his marriage. Joanna will probably have a hard time remembering both, lacking as she is in chronological awareness.

Who wrote this FAQ?

We did!

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